Introduction to Christian Dating
Let’s face it: as Christians, it is not always easy to find a compatible partner. And being selective is a good thing when you’re serious about a relationship-centered Christian God. On the other hand, I know a few Christians who have married non-Christian spouses and dated… and saw their relationship quite devastating collapse as a result. As Craig Groeschel writes in the excellent Going All the Way, there can be only one No. 1 for a successful marriage – and that no one should be Jesus, not your lover. Never forget that.
Of course, prayer and closeness to God are very important! I cannot emphasize enough submitting to the will of God and to ensure that you meet the person believes in Christ, just as much, and respect your beliefs. If not, carefully. And do not make a long term relationship until they accept Jesus as Lord as well. A relationship without the commitment to pay – even if things seem OK. Because you enjoy the fruits of love more than Jesus is the center. God reward you for searching first!
I need not tell you more about the importance of entering a relationship with someone as committed to a life of love with Jesus. So go on and read more on our best advice and tips on Christian dating, and God willing, you can just find the partner you’ve always dreamed!
So you are dating and want to make your dating experience is consistent with biblical principles. One might think that the obvious thing to do is to date another Christian, but you’d be surprised how many people start a relationship with someone who completely opposed the spiritual and moral beliefs. Often this happens because the counterparty Christian believes he can change the other party once they begin to date them, and some believe once they are married. Truth is not something if you are a Christian or not, get involved with plans to change another person who fails generally about 100 percent of the time.
Beginning of a misunderstanding with your partner is a project for you to develop only set you up for failure, disappointment and loss of hopes and dreams. How to build a successful relationship christian dating is certainly reassuring that you and the person you plan to have the same encounters spiritual beliefs. When the date Christians, our selection can not be based solely on chemistry and great conversation. Make no mistake, these things are important, but the dating is the purpose of gathering information and learning that person’s mind and soul.
Christian Dating Tip #1: Learning the Spirit
The spirit which consists of the person is really beyond the fleshly part that you see before you. Learn a person’s mind is to open eyes to see them for who God created them to be. This means looking beyond a hot body and big hair and looking for their inner being. Find out how they came to know Christ and how their relationship with him led them to be something and someone new. During the process of dating is when you learn about their purpose or calling, and things that are most passionate. You talk when you feel God guide you and them, and if your paths seem to complement each other. Now, having said that, I would note that dates should also be made of a conversation about life and fun activity. Every hour spent together should not be swallowed up in the Bible and talk about your goal, but this information is essential (it’s good for Christians to have fun on dates. No really, it’s okay!).
Christian Dating Tip #2: Learning the Soul
Now you also want to get to know the soul of the person. The core is composed of mind, will and emotions. It is important to know how that person makes decisions, handles stress, and resolves conflicts. A good way to decipher some of this is to discuss how they manage their finances. You’d be surprised what you can learn about a person to discuss money matters. Getting to know the soul of a person is not usually performed in a single date, but does not value a year of dating, either. Face it, most people are not themselves until the date of the third or fourth, if that soon. It is important to incorporate prayer in the process, asking the Lord to reveal the red flags, but you can forgive the imperfections because we all have.
Have discussions on concrete issues such as marriage, sex within marriage, children, finances, hobbies, goals are topics that can help you get an understanding of the mentality of a person. Discuss your heart desires and you individually to see you in the future can help you get a better picture of the will of the person. Do they have the desire to integrate God into all avenues of life and allow him to lead and guide them as they integrate their ability with the power of God? Basically, they give their will to that which is God’s will? You can get an idea of how a person is in control of their emotions and see how they deal with conflict resolution, and react to emotion. A good way to get there is by how they control their carnal appetites. Carnal appetites may be how they control sexual desire, eating, spending money, and anger, to name a few. These are all important factors to see if a person allows their emotions to control them, and to a successful Christian dating.
Christian Dating Tip #3: Unequally Yoked
I want to emphasize that just because someone attends your church every Sunday does not mean they have or they live in the same spiritual principles as you. Many people go to church on a regular basis because they think it’s the right thing to do, but they are still very open to premarital sex, drink until intoxicated behavior, and abusive . Obviously, we are all a work in progress, but there are some things we need to allow the Lord to increase in us before making an emotional connection with someone. Therefore it is essential that you do not assume that you are also coupled because you frequent the same place of worship.
I want to set the record straight, a Christian can be unequally yoked with another Christian. If you have lived for the Lord for 16 years and start dating someone who gave their lives to the Lord yesterday, most likely you are under a foreign yoke. Give the person time to focus on their walk with Christ and their spiritual development. I’m not saying that someone must be a Christian as long as you have. After all, maturity is not necessarily obvious because of longevity. Some people really put their all in developing a personal relationship with God while others just spend time doing other things for many years. A person who has been a Christian for five years may actually be just as mature as a person who was a Christian 10. Your relationship with Christ is what you put into it.
In Christian dating, I find that many women tend to compromise their beliefs for a relationship because of their age, or belief that a good Christian man does not exist. There are still men and women who are Christian and standards are not willing to compromise biblical principle for the sake of getting married as soon as possible. Take your time, trust God, and the time wisely. Remember that nobody is perfect, not even you, but stick with standards that are biblical. Also, remember to be patient and stay in prayer. God created marriage and He wants you to get there. Stick close to Him and He will give you the desires of your heart (Psalms 37:4).